


Kristoff vs. Tony Stark

by ibelieveinsherlockholmes2014



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Tony Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:03:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieveinsherlockholmes2014/pseuds/ibelieveinsherlockholmes2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>crack fic in which the avengers are compared to movie characters from frozen</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tony

**Author's Note:**

> In this story Loki is good. Major spoilers for Frozen. Please excuse miss spelled words, i am not spell check

It all started when Thor literally dragged Tony into the living room for movie night. Tony had been in the lab when Thor had barged in. Now he was on the couch waiting for them to tell him what movie.

" Well?" Tony asked.

" It's Frozen and yes you do have to watch it." Natasha replied.

The movie made him laugh and made Thor very confused. He didn't understand what a 'little tiny unicorn' was or why the snowman wanted to melt. The team finally heard Tony's real laugh when Olaf said " Can you grab my butt?"

Tony had been so isolated from the group that they were starting to worry. Tony didn't know, it was what he always did. Finally they got to the part where the trolls started to sing.

" Why do you walk funny Tony?" Thor asked.

" That isn't me, it's a fictional character, god!" Tony grumbled.

" Or the grumpy way he talks" Clint quoted.

" Shut up"

The song talked about the boys feet.

" I have awesome shoes" Tony told them.

" Sure" Steve smiled.

" You indeed smell " Thor said.

" Thanks for that"

When they said he was sensitive and sweet, everyone turned towards Tony. They all received the bird for there actions.

" OK you may not have a thing with reindeer but you do have a thing with robots." Bruce supplied.

" I'm out of here." Tony said walking towards the door.

" Or the way that he runs scared." Loki said appearing in the corner.

" I am not scared!" Tony flipped him off too.

" Prove it" Loki smiled as Tony sat down and pressed play.

" OK at least give us socially impaired." Natasha asked.

" fine." Tony said giving in.

" No freaking comment" Tony said about the dude taking a leak in the woods.

" OK I don't have unmanly blond hair" Tony pointed out.

" Would you like to?" Loki asked.

Tony was silent.

Bruce paused the film after bugs because Thor's unruly laughter was interrupting the movie.

" OK do you admit you are at least a little bit like this dude?" Bruce asked.

" OK maybe a little." Tony admitted.

They resumed the show to hear the bane of Tony's life on earth:

" And his Isolation is confirmation of his desperation for healing hugs" The TV sang.

Tony was gone so fast that no one had time to react.

" Well I guess that's an eye opener." Loki watched the teams eyes turn wide as they realized Tony was more like the Kristoff than he let on. Did Tony like hugs? Is that why he was a clingy drunk? Either way the team (plus Loki) were going to get their answer.

" JARVIS raise the middle mass cut out the bulk, show me the shorter." Tony commanded.

" Yes sir" JARVIS replied " Sir the avengers have the request of coming in, would you like me to let them in?"

" NO!" Tony all but yelled.

" Sir it seems that the codes are being over written. it would also seem that they are coming in against your refusal."

" Damn it!" Tony whispered.

" Tony get you butt over here!" Natasha yelled.

And you can't just not do what the Russian assassin told you to do.

Tony shuffled over shyly, arms crossed in front of him. Natasha smiled and hugged him boldly. Even the Great Tony, best at keeping his emotions in check, couldn't help but smile lightly. Tony saw Loki and Clint exchange bets. It turned into a group hug with Tony in the middle. Loki sat it out. He wasn't a hugging person.

Tony smiled, sadly he was a sucker for hugs. He hasn't given or gotten any in a while. It was something he sorely missed. Tony regained his composer and walked out to finish the movie.

" Hey is it just me or is Loki a lot like Elsa" Tony asked.

" Please don't." Loki pleaded.

" I mean he's obviously got powers and everyone thinks he's a monster"


	2. Loki

" Tony Stark, shut the hell up" Loki yelled.

" let it gooooo. Let it gooooo, turn away and slam the door!" Tony sang.

" Idiot," Loki yelled. He shot ice at Tony's head.

30 minutes ago

" The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen a kingdom of isolation, and it looks like, I'm the queen." The TV sang.

The team had decided to watch the movie again, comparing every avenger to a character. There was only minimal disagreements. Here's the list:

Tony was Kristoff

Loki was Elsa

Thor was the Swedish tall dude

Pepper was Anna

Clint was Olaf

Steve was the father of the two princesses

Bruce was the main troll that saved Anna

Natasha was Hans

And Fury was The duke of Wiesletown( because everyone wanted him to stop making accusations.

" Hey Loki wanna build a snowman?" Natasha joked.

" No, quiet. I am not Elsa." Loki grumbled.

" Come on, it doesn't have to be a snowman!" Tony whinnied.

" Shut up Stark!" Loki yelled.

As the song played Loki hummed along. Everyone stared at the god of mischief . He shrugged his shoulders in an annoyed way. Let it go came on and everyone waited for Loki to leave. Instead he smiled and buried himself into the couch.

" Conceal don't feel princess." Tony joked.

Suddenly a snowball hit Tony's head. Tony turned to see a look of innocence on Loki's face.

" Did you just...?" Tony asked.

He was rewarded with another snowball.

" Did he just..." Tony looked over at the team.

Another snowball.

" Loki stop!" Tony practically yelled.

" Or what?" Loki asked.

" Or I'll make your alarm clock sing Let it go every hour at the highest level." Tony threatened.

" You wouldn't.": Loki glared.

" There is only one way to settle this feud. Like Loki and I settled this when we were younger." Thor smiled.

" Are you sure brother, this fight you have never won. Even your brut strength couldn't beat me." Loki questioned.

" Oh I'm sure." Thor provoked.

" Oh come on The suspense is killing me, What?" Tony begged.

" Yeah please" Clint was on his knees.

" Ready Brother?" Thor asked.

" Thought you'd never ask." Loki jumped of the couch then the whole room was white. Snow covered the ground and there were icicles on the ceiling. Thor jumped up and threw a snowball at Loki who dodged the ball easily.

" Oh yeah SNOWBALL FIGHT" Tony yelled.

" I don't think we should..." Bruce started. But then he got hit " Oh it's on!" Bruce yelled.

Soon the whole team was In a frenzy. Natasha was destroying everyone who went by her . Clint was on top the fridge throwing with precise aim. Bruce was hiding behind the couch with tony giggleing like school girls. Thor was behind a snow mound throwing electrified snowballs at anyone he could see. Loki, however was in the middle he didn't lay a finger but the team was plagued with snow, he was happily deflecting every ball thrown.

"Hey, Tony!" Loki yelled cheerfully.

" Yeah?" Tony called back from his hiding place.

" Do you wanna build a snowman?" Loki asked.

" Aww you do care. Hey let it gooooo let it go can't hold me back anymore!"

" Tony Stark, shut the hell up" Loki yelled.

" let it gooooo. Let it gooooo, turn away and slam the door!" Tony sang.

" Idiot," Loki yelled. He shot ice at Tony's head.

" Hey oww!" Tony cried.

" Hey Loki I know your in there people are asking where you've been. They tell me to fear you, but I can't so, please let me in. We only have each other it's just you and me, what are we going to do? Do you wanna build a snowman?" Tony sang.

" Of course I wanna build a snowman " Loki said.

And guess what?

They built a snowman.


	3. Olaf

It started with Tony drunk-engineering again. They don't really know what happened, but when The Avengers woke up, they were surrounded the characters from frozen. Tony was rocking with Kristoff and Loki was throwing ice at everybody, while Elsa rolled her eyes. Clint was pissed about being with a snowman, while Thor walked around talking about Sweden with his character .

"WHY WAS I VOTED A SNOWMAN" Clint roared.

"Inside voice, ya know? We should watch a movie, I like movies" Olaf smiled and walked holding hands with an annoyed Clint.

"Elsa?! Anna?!" Elsa's father cried.

"Daddy!" Elsa cried and ran to him with Anna.

They hugged, Loki rolled his eyes, Kristoff made out with Anna, the usual.

then the alarms blared and The Avengers ran to battle. What they didn't know was they had two rogue frozen characters following them, Olaf and Elsa.

"Thor, attack the Doombots from the sky! Tony, give him air support. Clint blow 'em up with them explosive arrows. Nat and Loki, your with me, and Bruce, Hulk time" The Avengers nodded at Steve and got to work.

"What about me?" Elsa asked.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked through the coms.

"Olaf ran" Elsa said answering through a com she had, who knew how she got one.

"Okay, your with me," Steve commanded.

After the fight, The Hulk was not done. He roared in fury, of course that's when Olaf butted in.

"ya know, we should calm down and relax, we can have some Chocolate, oh! Maybe we can go to the park!" Olaf said to The Hulk.

"SNOWMAN FUNNY! SMASH SNOWMAN?" The Hulk asked.

"NO!" The Avengers + Elsa cried.

"Hehehe, Oh your just a giant green teddy bear, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are!" Olaf giggled.


	4. Chapter 4

So a portal was opened and seven people popped out, and there names were Tom, Robert, Chris E and Chris H, Scarlet, Mark and last but not least Jeremy. Tom immediately turned to Loki and smiled. 

 

"I am the bad guy!!!" He yelled turning a fake mustache. Loki looked at the team and then to Tom.

 

"I'm sexy as a badass." Robert Downley Jr. said studying Tony.

 

"You should see me when I'm in a suit." Tony said winking and Robert smiled. 

 

"Tony stop flirting with yourself!" Natasha growled and the two twins whined.

 

"Idiots." Scarlet said smiling.

 

Natasha nodded and looked up sighing. Clint and Jeremy were on top of a car for some strange reason shooting arrows at pigeons, Jeremy was using Clint's spare bow and Natasha rolled her eyes.

 

"Death to the pigeons!!!" Clint and Jeremy yelled in unison.

 

"And who are you?" Thor bellowed and Chris winced.

 

"Am I always this loud?" He asked and everyone except Thor nodded.

 

"Is that the legit shield?" Chris E asked looking it over.

 

"Yeah?" Steve said smiling. 

 

"This is my pride and joy, Wendy." Tom announced twirling his mustache. 

 

"Can I kill him?" Loki asked growling and Tom jumped. 

 

"Chris, save me!" Tom cried and Chris Hemsworth ran to Toms rescue. Tom jumped into Chris's arms and held on tight. 

"Idiots." Scarlet and Natasha said sighing.

 

yay or nay?


End file.
